Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Vote The Irate Ticket

Our morning constitutional in Prospect Park affords us a chance to keep tabs on the state of the Borough's judicial races. And one day, we might get round to penning something on them. Beyond saying "he looks honest. Vote for him." Or "she looks like the sort of person who wouldn't throw a drink in Bruce Ratner's face. Cast her into New York Harbor." Not very useful, you'll probably agree.

So, we wish to draw your attention to two other candidacies, one on a national level, and the other on the local level. Oh, and one of them's fake. Chistopher Walken is aapparently not running for president in 2008, despite a rather spiffy website claiming the contrary. The claim was debunked rather thoroughly by the Rev Moon's cohorts, as well as assorted other right wing crazies. Pity, the man is obviously much more capable of QUITE LITERALLY SHOOTING EVILDOERS IN THE FACE than the current nebbish we've got.

The second campaign that has caught fire is that of Gifford Miller, speaker of the city council and candidate for Mayor. We still can't really tell if Giff is this obnoxious young person that might mellow into a quite personable politician, or whether he might always be in danger of Jumping Up And Down or Frothing At The Mouth At Solemn Occasions. This was, you will recall, the dilemma we faced assessing the candidacy of Jim McGreevey for governor of New Jersey. We called it wrong there, labelling as a slightly edgy approach to politics what was in fact batsh*t insanity. We won't be fluffing that call again.

So far we've been treated to Mayor Mike's ads, whch are all thrusting and businesslike, like the Cushman & Wakefiield spots (could this be on our headstone? "Thanks, but I'm going with Cushman & Wakefield". Only other time the phrase will get uttered in real life). We also recently experienced Freddy Ferrer's ad, which makes you want to burst into tears, so hardscrabble is the man's childhood.

Giff has been told to project Youthful Energy And Ideas And Action. Which are in Giff's hands conflated with Crazy On A Stick. And so it is. We have a slice of giddy cheese that would embarrass a man running for school board in Des Moines. We urge you to watch it here before the little imp changes his mind. Money quote: "Bloomberg's stadium boondoggle. Others talked. I cut off its funding." Now we hate stadium scams as much as the next blog-gas, but Giff sounds positively vindictive. Don't vote in this election. What with the unnaturally pointy Anthony Weiner, in the mix, the whole process is too unspeakable.

Possted below is a tune that may or may not have anything to do with current events. It's an AAC, but we don't care.

Fugazi - "Walken's Syndrome"
Buy "In On The Kill Taker" Here At Big Corporate Amazon. Do It. DO IT!


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