Slides Don't Rule
I bow to few in my admiration for water parks. The flues and slides and wave machines and spurious soaking devices are part of what makes America great. I am proud to visit as many as possible. Among my favourites are the Algarve's Wet N' Wild, San Dimas' Raging Waters (aka Waterloo!), and Hawaiian Waters.
Note that I haven't included the Six Flags in New Jersey among them, mostly because I don't consider water parks a dignified pursuit for area with temperate climates. Which is why I'm a little wary of throwing my ginormous weight behind the new Randall's Island water park proposal. Does not the fact that one has to get on a plane or, worse, a NJ Transit bus, add to the experience?
The plan, as far as the above-linked Daily News story goes, is for there to be a "massive" water park on the northern tip of the island, complete with water slides and so forth:
"But the park - which was proposed originally in 1999 by then-Mayor Rudy Giuliani at 12 acres - is drawing concern because of its swelling size, now set at 26 acres."
Sound impressive? It's not. Raging Waters covers 50 acres, and that's pretty cozy. Hawaiian Waters, which I'm fairly fond of because it's fairly quiet, is 25 acres. Building a state-of-the-art water park on that kind of space is simply not possible, especially if the Randall's Island park's 25 acres includes a seven-acre beach. Crazy slide space will be at a premium. And forget about the pointless very slow-moving river where the kids hang out.
I don't really have a take on the wisdom of bulldozing the baseball diamonds to make way for the park. I wasn't convinced, in particular, by one observer's remark: "As it is now, children from the surrounding neighborhoods have to travel 2-1/2 hours each way to get to a comparable facility." Of course, by that token, we also need a IKEA in the Five Boroughs. Oh, wait...
I was going to use this post to rant on a little longer about how little legal nous Chuck Schumer possesses, as evidenced by his recent performance at the Alito hearings. But I think I've gone on quite enough. So here's one of those topical mp3 postings that get the hipsters so agitated:
Royal Trux - "Waterpark"
Buy "Veterans Of Disorder" at Walmart. It seems oddly fitting.