Where's The Fatima Mansions' Cut?

Why on earth do we always assume that hedge fund managers are the smartest and most devious dudes on the face of the earth? Now, admittedly, the one I'm about to laugh at did lose a bunch of money, and seems to have been so bad as a hedge fund manager that he had to turn his fund into a ponzi scheme. But does the executor of this Reggie Perrin-esque death-faking caper look like the sort of person to which one should be handing over flipping great wodges of cash?

Disgraced fund manager Samuel Israel is assumed to be on the run after failing to turn up to prison as promised and leaving a really unconvincing suicide scene behind. Let's go to the Times for the understated sarcasm, shall we?

Shortly after noon on June 9, Mr. Israel’s abandoned GMC Envoy was found along a shoulder of the Bear Mountain Bridge near the Hudson River with the message “suicide is painless” written in dust on the hood. The keys and a bottle of pills were still in the car.

When Mr. Israel’s body failed to turn up and the message turned out to be the theme song of “M*A*S*H,” authorities began to suspect he was on the run.

What's double super extra ironic about the situation is that the means of Mr. Israel's supposed disappearance mirrors the disappearance of former Manic Street Preachers rhythm guitarist Richie Edwards. The Manics' first top ten hit? A cover of Suicide Is Painless.