The J-M It's OK To Hate

That's right, top electronic noodle-flange and music industry shill Jean Michel Jarre returns to China. The musical heir to Richard Nixon, he was one of the first to play in China, after the Communist despots realised there was very little subsance, let alone subversion, in his music. That was in 1981, and in Mr. Jarre's world, all you need are a few projectors and some synthesisers that Duran Duran won't miss, and you're still laughing. More worryingly, Mr Jarre was until 2000 the official spokesman for the IFPI, the record industry's trade group, at which point the Corrs, the only band to have succeeded in making more vapid music than J-M, and the only gang of hacks more dependent on the music industry to make themselves palatable to the general public, took over.

But, and we're still getting over this, he does play a harp constructed entirely from lasers. And that is one of the coolest things ever. We shall let him live.