Don't Drink The Water

We have been steering clear of the Times recently, often because we lack the time to hunt down the idiocies that lurk in the Metro and Style sections, or to rake over whatever Bumiller or Nagourney have been drooling this week. Plus we don't like linking to their registered users only site, since we'd hate to think that having a password to a site was a prerequisite for reading Gumby Fresh, which tries to be more holistic, inclusive and catholic in its approach than the Gray Lady.

But we have a bit of time on our hands, and were perusing the business travel section where we stumbled on this nugget. In theory, it's a fun idea, if not a hugely original one. Like, what do those reeelly famous chefs eat when they're not cooking? Like, bet it's twinkies dipped in caviar, or something.

So, we get a crudely bolted together survey of whichever celebrity chefs will stoop to plug their restaurants in front of the jet-trash expense account set. And it's awfully reassuring to know that Thomas Keller loves In-N-Out Burger, or that most of them seem to subsist on oatmeal.

Wolfgang Puck, though, cannot even be that game. Wolfgang, see, doesn't like to let go. So, no wine for him at lunch. And no processed sugars or saturated fats for him either:

"For a sure bet, Mr. Puck's simple advice is to dine in the best upscale restaurants, which are easy to find by consulting restaurant guides, Web sites and food magazines."

That's right, Wolfgang's secret chef tip for eating on the road is to pick up a Zagats and pick the best one you can. Or, go to this excellent website! Why thank you, swami. We suppose we shoud be thankful he refrained from plugging his mall franchise.

We much prefer what Anthony Bourdain, nutter author of Kitchen Confidential had to say on civilian culinary life:

What I want to eat is home cooking, somebody's - anybody's - mother's or grandmother's food. A simple pasta pomodoro made with love, a clumsily thrown-together tuna casserole, roast beef with Yorkshire pudding, all of this is pure exotica to me,

We bear this in mind every time we mentalise a kitchen range.