Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Send Me An Angel In The Morning

Is Fitty a rapper who wants to be a Chippendale, or a Chippendale that wants to be a rapper? We'll answer the question later, but had to pose it now so that it's next to the picture.

Not really a great need to recount the fiasco from yesterday. We're sure that all over the nation Democrats are rejoicing over their ability to connect with the hinterland, and meanwhile their party in New York is an utter bloody mess. Yay Democrats!

Kwame held on in Detroit, after an impressive burst of campaigning in the final days before the election. The narrative now is that the guy is learning from his mistakes. Our prediction - another bumper couple of years for realtors in Auburn Hills.

We caught 50 Cent on NY1 this morning, and the comedy gold was coming up from the vaults by the ton. The interviewer was, naturally, the epically muddled Neil Rosen, quite plainly terrified to be on the same interview set as Fitty. The fact that the NY1 sound goblin was running things from New Jersey, and had neglected to mic up Rosen, made the little fella sound even more querulous than normal.

"Unm, so, Mr. Cent, is this like what Eminem did, the whole rapper hooking up with a famous director that maybe doesn't have a background in rap?" Fitty smiled mirthlessly. "No, I'm doing this my own way, although I respect what Eminem did." Which is true, Eminem made this weirdly gripping story of how brute talent can overcome a shitty attitude, humble origins and the Curse Of Vanilla Ice. Fitty got shot, has large abdominal muscles, and sings like a girl.

Which was where Neil Rosen now stumbles into his next question. "So what's this with the feuding? I mean, I don't know much about rap, but the thing with Ja Rule and Fat Joe, is that part of the game?" At which point, Rosen, terrified that he might have stepped over some invisible line unknown to mediocre film reviewers, leaned forward onto the balls of his feet. "Well, they're not as talented," said Fitty, and who was Rosen to argue? "They're not here talking to you." Which is true, Ja Rule has made many stupid decisions during his career, not least among them hiring Lizzie Grubman as a publicist, but courting a half hour of Neil Rosen's time is not one of them.

We could end this with a rant about how NYC's rappers are as pitiful as its Democrats, link this all up with the rise of Houston, both its politics and its shiny-toothed rap, and then pray for Biggie to come back down and make it all better. Illustrate it all with a tune stolen from Miguel. But that would be wrong.

So we'll post something from the disgustingly rare Bonus 7" that Sebadoh made in the early 90s. The one in our position quite literally fell out of a vinyl copy of Bubble And Scrape (one of a thousand, apparently), and took us absolutely ages to render as an mp3. Was it worth the wait? Probably not, although no-one ever lost credibility by overestimating sections of the public's enthusiasm for discordant low-fi noodlings.

Sebadoh - "Part 1 (Lou)" (although we're prepared to be corrected)
You can't find this ANYWHERE. Mwah-Hah-Hah-Hah! But send some money Lou Barlow's way, even though he can sometimes be a bit of a dick.


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