Monday, September 27, 2004


Time to start with a top three surveillance section, subtitled "why Gringcorp is so cool and observant"

1)Top broadsheet plagiarist Jayson Blair, walking through the Union Square Green Market, wearing a lot of jewelry, Monday morning. We're not usually this positive about such a spotting, especially since we were distracted by the brutal techno pouring into our defenceless ears. But the man seemed very eager to be recognised, staring around expectantly as the Wheatgrass-munchers milled around the stalls. Gringcorp's father used the very same standard to identify Terry Waite, and decided therafter that he didn't like the look of the saintly hostage-negotiator one bit. But if Jayson was actually giving a class in journalistic ethics at a benighted Southern communications school, we will be happy to correct

2)Top limey mullet- and real ale-fancier Alex Hall outside the Brazen Head, Sunday afternoon. Alex is justly thought of as a hero for his spririted defence of all thinks Cask. But we don't think that him and the Cheese lady from Bierkraft should ever be allowed to breed. You might think that this is a remote possibility, and that we mention this purely as a dig against someone who only wants her cheeses to be happy. But Alex distributes his Gotham Imbiber there, so we must be careful.

3)Top NY Senator (sorry, Hill) Chuck Schumer, pressing the flesh at the Altantic Antic, a couple of blocks from Alex and his beer-quaffing cru. Schumer is a hugely popular incumbent, a position that we, as a Mets fan, hugely distrust, and we do not think that he came off well from Nat Hentoff's examination of his Pickering filibuster. But Chuck was a machine, looking very tireless in a loosened tie, and affecting slightly rumpled demeanor. In fact we even shook his hand, knowing that this at least does not violate campaign finance laws. But, if you’re looking to try and identify Gringcorp from Chuck’s campaign pictures, think again. We were wearing a Barack Obama mask.

Little else to say about the Antic, except that it was better than most of the street festivals. Our main interest in it was as a conduit to Sahadi's, where we were hoping to score some pine nuts. There was even some live music going on, although we missed the likes of The Brought Low. Gringcorp used to do a walk of shame down Atlantic, and was pleasantly surprised by how many chi-chi restaurants the stretch has recently attracted. But there is something about it, and we're not fixating simply on Hank's here, that is innately shady.

And after the surveillance comes the navel-gazing. That New York Times thing on the bloggers. Yes, the article did focus far too much on the success/freedom trade-off, like the Times has turned into the Maximum Rock N’Roll of political commentary, or something (Sell out!). And it focused far too little on the role that the blogs have played in correcting some of the more egregious errors in the mainstream media (although they didn’t catch Blair). But the most interesting old to new media shot was the way the article was structured, an attempt to create intimate portraits of the bloggers themselves. As if to say, “this is what we do, children. We provide context and a backstory, rather than one-line carping about what f***tards [an interesting new elided swearword, no?] the Republicans are. Amusingly enough, the blogs seem to have decided it would be much cooler to fixate on what a gentleman called Billmon has to say on the subject.

Finally, Gringcorp is taking a Holiday From Guitars. And he’s noticed that the world of Techno is very funny. We were cruising Amazon for some leads on where to find the very sleek Kompakt 100 compilation, fresh outta Cologne (seemed easier to write than trying to do an HTML umlaut). Actually, we found that in Kim's, but was diverted by a review of the Dave Clarke mix album World Service. Why do Techno fans, who tend to be mild-mannered, wimpy people, need to go on about how brutal their music is? Even metal fans aren't that bad. Our theory is that going on about how certain tunes "kick you in the head", distracts from the fact that the music is rather similar to the soundtrack to fashion shows, and adverts for gay chatlines. And that wouldn't do. Either that or there's some delicious sub/dom subtext to which we are completely oblivious.


At 5:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Writing about me again? I'm going to cut you in the fucking throat and stuff the bleeding gash with Velveeta the next time you come into my store. OK, maybe its not my store and maybe I don't draw a paycheck but I still work there.. and I'm always ready.. to wrap your iPod headphones so tightly around that limey neck your eyes will pop out and I will disply them next to the goat milk bries. Fucktard.

At 6:00 PM, Blogger Gringcorp said...

Michael, your concern for the lady's reputation is touching. Your language, however, is not. There are many reasons why we use asterisks, and a wish to emulate the Melody Maker of the late nineties is only one of them.

At 11:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 11:35 AM, Blogger Gringcorp said...

Sorry, Big Boy, this ain't California, and that was your second strike.

At 11:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gringcorp, why are you editing posts? Don't you think your readers deserve access to all feedback, regardless of how profane it may be?

At 12:05 PM, Blogger Gringcorp said...

All four of you readers, as well as any casual visitor, can have access to any comment that eschews swearing and avoids touching upon Gringcorp's identity. Those are the rules, it's our blog.

Should you desire a forum where you can both cuss out those that suggest very gently that two people should not breed and indulge in cod-ebonics, then Blogger will sort you out in an instant. But that stuff's just not our scene.

At 3:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are quite correct with your analysis. If the chees woman looks anything like that guy, the chines have the right idea. What time warp is he lost in?


At 3:58 PM, Blogger Gringcorp said...

We say "knock yourself out and say what you like", and then along comes this rabid eugenics freak. Cunning, almost Swiftian, satire. You need a blog.

Now get lost, we're trying to write a new post.


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