Vote The Slayer Ticket
We never really got round to doing the Redneck Rock N' Roll Review. We did have a grand unified theory that said that Florida's Zeke (whose Death Valley disk from back in 2001 we bought yesterday), the Gotohells, from St Petersburg, FL, and Supersuckers, from Arizona, were the more authentic voice of Southern rage. The supporting evidence was that their shows were more fun, their outlook more nihilistic, and their politics were more straightforward than the complex self-pitying creed of Lynyrd Skynyrd and their heirs in the Drive By Truckers.
But it would mostly have been a list of links to Amazon, interspersed with a few observations like "makes you want to chop your neighbor's head off. That good." And it wouldn't have advanced the cause of human understanding much. Which is not to say that the next couple of paragraphs will, just that we feel a little more effort is required.
We suspect that in the next few days, after we say goodbye to Atrios, Joshua and Markos, as we basically hope we will be able to, we can go back to yelling about the uniform land use review process and the best places to buy mandolines in Boerum Hill. But we might not. And we might not have the heart to laugh at the President much longer. And he might not have the heart to be nice to foreigners, even the white ones, much longer.
We can't vote, and while we probably have enough readers to keep a couple of hands occupied counting, we probably don't have enough readers from outside New York and the UK to keep any one of a non-existent unicorn's non-existent hands occupied. Unless just after we post this someone hugely indecisive in New Mexico, having just finished dinner, decides to surf Blogger a few minutes waiting for the Seinfeld reruns to start.
But, even if you're in New york, think of those little ratty metallers from the South, some of them probably reasonably popular (i.e., not black metal, they don't count), that decided to march to a different drum, and knew that playing the goddamn unclean Orange Bear in NY and having to pay for the privilege was probably better than sitting around at home and waiting for the options dwindle to the army or the department of corrections.
So for those whose temperament takes them against the grain of some truly crappy cultures, go out the hell and vote. Ignore the bit of the ballot that lists Clarence Norman's corrupt judicial All-Stars. Just vote for Kerry because he's not an idiot, and beccause you've finally realised that that's the bar for being president. He tells me that people who write music reviews this bad will get drafted super quick. True fact.
Anyway we've got a party to plan.