Grill Don't Burn

How on earth did the poor Danes get caught up in the latest right-wing cause celebre? Not their fault, as it happens. Well it is the fault of some of them. But this one just depresses me an obscene amount because of the sheer number of people of different creeds and viewpoints that it makes look stupid. Here's the BBC's recap, and here's mine:

Really stupid Danish newspaper publishes really stupid and unfunny cartoons replete with offensive depictions of the prophet Mohammed. Its explanation is that this was part of a "debate on freedom of expression". One that tossed quite a few deeply-held Muslim beliefs out of the window.

Many Muslims worldwide become justifiably angry at said depictions, presumably realise that boycotting stupid and unfunny Danish newspaper will not achieve much.

Hardcore and stupid element decides to put pressure on government and people of Denmark to censor said idiots by staging large demonstrations, starting boycotts and burning stuff. Either that, or this element believes that government does have the power to control said idiots, much as many governments of majority Muslim countries do.

Really stupid right-wingers seize on episode as some kind of proof of how barbarian and uncivilised Muslims are, and how we are engaged in an epic clash of values that will probably involve and invasion of Iran at some point. Urge support for Denmark, its people and its goods. Reprint cartoons to make same point.

We discover that we have Lego, butter, really cheap salami and bacon to show our support with, but that only the first is distributed in very great quantities in the US.

In fact, I'm particularly upset about the lack of decent bacon in the US, since it makes it impossible to construct a decent bacon sandwich (look at this poor fool try and use American bacon), and relegates the mighty bacon to mere garnish. But I digress. Although it does highlight the fact that, while dairy products will suffer from a boycott, Denmark's principal export is in fact boycott-proof.

Still the parade of silly and disingenuous fools marching through this story deserve each other's company. And what I deserve now, with apologies to all followers of the Prophet Mohammed, and the varied precepts of the Jewish faith, is a fine pork pie.

Do you think there's something topical in here? Oh yes I think there is:

The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion - "Bacon"
You may procure Xtra Acme USA here. Do it for the music, not for the controversy