Monday, June 19, 2006

Turf wars

So, Community Average Folk 101 has arrived to put the genuine voice of the grassroots supporter of a gigantic real estate scam into the blogosphere. The author, Benjamin Casadine, does not show up anywhere on google, and the site does not have the slick authoring that one would expect from a Ratner PR move. So we'll assume it's genuine, while noting that the garbled syntax and use of bold, delarative and ultimately meaningless non-sequiturs means that it could have been written by Marty Markowitz (apropos that last link, why does that worthless little buffoon have to drag Junior's into his every paltry photo-op?).

[Crikey buggery bugger. Not ten seconds after I posted this did I learn that Markowitz just received treatment for heart trouble. Best wishes and get well soon, you horrible little man.]

Still in the spirit of lively debate we left a bunch of comments in response to his opening post. Since a few of them are sarcastic, and many of them do not reflect the author's positive spin on the development, we'll assume they don't make it past the blog's moderation process. So we'll post them here:

Hey Average chap who never met James Stuckey ever, below some comments:
1. Should average "regular" community folks opinions count? Of course, we shouldn't let the extremely high-priced PR professionals employed by Forest City Ratner dominate discussion of the project.
2. How does one determine whose opinion(s) are more urgent and/or significant than others? I think the groups that raise the greatest sums from the developer probably have the most valid opinions.
3. What makes folk think that they have all the answers? That's a zen, right? Oh no, it's not, is it? It's the first recorded use of a Markowitzism
4. How do you feel about the Atlantic Yards Project (AYP)? Like "The Warriors", it makes me nostalgic for the 70s, when such stupidity was cutting edge. Quite often I've lain awake at night and wondered "what if all of Brooklyn looked like Metro Tech?"
5. What do you think it will do for the area? Increase sewage flows into the Gowanus canal, thus preventing Mr Ratner's rivals at Toll Brothers building stupid McMansions down there for yuppie scumbags.
6. How will you personally benefit from the project? A great deal of shade in the summer for when I'm ambling down Flatbush choosing between sports bars.
7. What do you feel the Community Benefits Agreement (CBA) is? Perhaps the greatest innovation in astroturf creation since the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth.
8. What would you like to see the CBA accomplish? A high ratio of affordable housing; sustainable, and rewarding job opportunities; consideration of the traffic impact of a project; and plentiful and accessible green paces. Failing that though, providing just enough affordable housing to cover the backs of spineless politicians; a couple of one-off construction jobs to buy off the unions; some mumbling about the subways; and private rooftop parks will do
9. What changes will occur in the area as a result of the CBA? A trick question, right? A properly written CBA mitigates the worst effects of the project, but is the project that actually does the neighborhood-destroying.
10. Do you think you will still be in the community without the AYP or do you think you will be priced out? I dunno, those condos Mr. Ratner wants to build seem awfully expensive too. But I'll probably line up behind the yuppies whose homes he destroyed to get one. Just as soon as I sell my children to raise the down payment

[Update: What up, nolandgrab massive. I should also note at this point that Mr. Casadine did post the comments on his blog. Probably classier behaviour than my deluge of snark]


At 6:01 PM, Blogger Dope on the Slope said...

Ah. That was nice and bracing. Bravo!


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