That 70s Heist

lufthansa
Originally uploaded by Gringcorp.

About this time last night I was ambling around the nether regions of JFK airport, looking to pick up some Moroccan carpets. It was a strangely bracing experience, like having a backstage pass to a rock concert where the guitars are made of planes. JFK has a church, a Citibank, a bunch of parking lots for each airline, and a gigantic post office.

I saw all of these things because I was taking public transport around the place. It went like this, and please skip the following if you're not impressed by feats of train endurance, or are utterly confused by New York subway references. L Train from Union Square to 14th and 8th, waited there for 30 minutes for an A train. A train comes, only it's going to Lefferts rather than Rockaway. Wait for two more Lefferts As to go by, lose patience, jump on Lefferts A, jump off after an hour at 88th street in Queens, wait two more trains for a Rockaway A, go two stops to Howard Beach. Take a $5 Airtrain to Federal Circle. Jump on Cargo shuttle bus to Lufthansa cargo terminal, pick up customs documents. Jump back on Cargo shuttle to Federal Circle after a ten minute wait, change to Post Office shuttle after a ten minute wait, jump off Post Office shuttle one stop too early, am directed around the entire cargo area by kindly postal worker with a Bahston accent, amble round to Customs building, exchange cheery banter with armed customs agent behind a desk. Wait at chuttle station for 15 minutes watching the cargo planes take off, take Post Office back to Federal Circle, wait another ten minutes for Cargo shuttle, return to Lufthansa cargo terminal, wait around ten minutes, hand over a large amount of cash, hang around another 15 minutes watching the sketchy cargo couriers go by, pick up huge bag of carpet, wait ten minutes for the cargo shuttle, back to Federal Circle, back on frankly sucktastic Airtrain, this time to Jamaica, thence to the Long Island Railroad, and the 15 minute wait for a train to Flatbush, and a ten-minute walk home. Nice. At least I got a cool sticker out of it.

I'm sure it wasn't always this time consuming and difficult. I blame top top Robert Deniro role Jimmy Conway and his dashing Lufthansa job.

Total pussies next to the Pelham 123 boys, obviously. I've recently discovered that the best solution to the problem of subway noise and open-backed Grado SR60 headphones is not to buy a new pair of noise-isolating headphones, but to listen to and watch only subway-themed media. Cheers!

David Shire - "End Title"
Buy "The Taking Of Pelham 1-2-3 OST" here. Don''t ask City Hall first. Just do it